Watching a new episode of The Office

Some favourite quotes from the show:

Dwight: Security in this office park is a joke. Last year I came to work with my spud gun in a duffel bag. I sat at my desk all day with a rifle that shoots potatoes at 60 pounds per square inch. Can you imagine if I were deranged?

Michael: Computers… computers are about trying to murder you in a lake.

Michael: When I said that I was king of forwards, you got to understand that I don’t come up with this stuff. I just forward it along. You wouldn’t arrest a guy who was just passing drugs from one guy to another.

[Michael reads off complaints filed by Dwight]
Michael Scott: OK, so Dwight, in your own words: “Someone replaced all my pens and pencils with crayons. I suspect Jim Halpert.”
Michael Scott: Everyone has called me “Dwayne” all day. I think Jim Halpert paid them to.
Jim Halpert: [to camera, laughs] Yes. Five bucks each, and it was totally worth it.
Michael Scott: This morning, I found a bloody glove in my desk drawer, and Jim Halpert tried to convince me I committed murder. I think he may be the real murderer.
Michael Scott: Jim Halpert said there was an abandoned infant in the women’s room, when I went to save the child, I saw Meredith on the can.
Michael Scott: This morning, I hit myself in the head with my phone.
Jim Halpert: [to camera] That actually took a while. I had to put- uh, more and more nickels into his handset until he got used to the weight, and then I just took them all out.
Michael Scott: Every time I typed my name, it said “Diapers”.
Jim Halpert: [to camera] Just a simple macro. You know, these actually don’t sound that funny, one after another. But he does deserve it, though.
Michael Scott: By the end of the day, my desk was about two feet closer to the copier.
Jim Halpert: [to camera] Yeah, I just moved it an inch every time he went to the bathroom. And that’s… how I spent the entire day, that day.

I know that there are many, many more profound things in life. I do know that.

But watching a new episode of The Office, and laughing till I cry at Michael’s philosophies, Dwight’s insanity, and Jim’s blank expressions… it just makes me happy.

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